I work with children so obviously, being peed on and thrown up on is part and parcel of my day to day life and I've come to accept that. Every day I wear the same pants so I only have to throw out one pair at then end of this and none of my other clothes get infected.
The other day, one of my little Shits took a not so little shit, in the classroom. I knew that something was up because all of the kids were pointing and yelling at Ben (and we can now confirm that he is more brawn than brain). Of course, when I asked my Chinese assistant, she confirmed: "Ben shit...around the corner." Ironically, I was standing in the bathroom when all of this was going on. And trust me, it wasn't like the kid did a little squeak, then a shake and out popped a turd from his pant leg. Luckily, I did not have to clean it up but bearing witness to the mound of poop that would make a dirty, middle aged fat man who eats nothing but greasy burgers, waffle fries and deep fried cheesecake envious, was enough for me.
Ben, making his fellow countrymen proud, strutted around with his chest out and head held high. Such an accomplishment is quite an honour around these parts.
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